43 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes to Make You Smile
Share these with your family, friends, and coworkers.
What's not to love about turkey and dressing and pumpkin pie and the whole Thanksgiving menu? Well, there can be this thing called stress that can come with it between all the cooking and more cooking and part of things where you put a lot of different personalities at one table. So to bring some laughs to it all, we give you 44 funny Thanksgiving quotes from the likes of Jay Leno, Johnny Carson, Charlie Brown, Nora Ephron, and Jim Gaffigan.
These short, meme-worthy one-liners are sure to put a smile on your face as they poke fun at family dynamics and other oh-so-true parts of Thanksgiving. Read through the list and consider sending any of the turkey day sayings that stand out to friends who will "get it." These funny quotes can also make a great Thanksgiving Instagram caption for your pics of side dishes, fancy cocktails, and fun Thanksgiving activities, or on a more serious note playing to the meaningfulness of the holiday, you might find inspiration for your post in this list of thankful quotes or this list of Thanksgiving Bible verses.
Now time for those funny Thanksgiving quotes! Which one do you find most relatable?
Erma Bombeck
"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."
Charlie Brown
"I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast."
Nora Ephron
"The turkey. The sweet potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything else we can agree so vehemently about? I don't think so."
P.J. O'Rourke
"Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year."
Jimmy Fallon
"A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear them consider saying 'that smells good' to be helping."
Jim Gaffigan
"The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that everyday!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us.' "
Andy Borowitz
"For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag."
Melanie White
"Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home."
Mitch Hedberg
"If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, ‘Man, just be yourself.'"
John Lyon
"Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line."
Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
"The Thankstini: A fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka, and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner."
Anonymous
"We may not have it all together, but together, we have it all."
Friends
"It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring."
Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
"It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour."
Ina Garten
"If you think about a Thanksgiving dinner, it’s really like making a large chicken."
Eric Samuel Timm, "Static Jedi: The Art of Hearing God Through the Noise"
"Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition."
Ambrose Bierce
"Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude."
Mike Connolly
"Coexistence: What the farmer does with the turkey—until Thanksgiving."
Tom Swyers
"Real ballplayers pass the stuffing by rolling it up in a ball and batting it across the table with a turkey leg."
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